Ten Lies About Pregnancy
Article By Ann Douglas
As if morning sickness, swollen ankles, and a sore back weren't enough to deal with while you're pregnant – you can also count on being subjected to nine months worth of little white lies. Here are just a few of the pregnancy-related half-truths you're likely to hear between now and delivery day.

1. Pregnancy only for only nine months.

Chances are you won't clue into the fact that you've been had about the duration of your pregnancy until your doctor or midwife pulls out the handy-dandy due-date chart. At that moment of truth, it will suddenly dawn on you that you're going to be pregnant for nine-and-a-half months rather than the nine months you thought you were signing up for!

2. You can always tell if a woman is pregnant because pregnant women positively glow.

As wonderful as it is to be pregnant, rather than developing that much-talked-about pregnancy glow the moment the pregnancy test comes back positive, you may find yourself looking a little green instead (it's hard to pull off a ‘glow’ when a nasty case of morning sickness has you bolting for the bathroom every two minutes).

3. You should expect your partner to be every bit as excited about your pregnancy as you are.

While some fathers-to-be go positively ga-ga over their partners' pregnancies, other expectant fathers take a much lower-key approach, preferring to withhold their enthusiasm until after delivery day. Don't assume your partner is unfit for fatherhood just because he isn't showing the same enthusiasm as some of the other fathers at prenatal class – he's just biding his time.

4. It's easy to keep your pregnancy a secret during the first few months.

Don't be so sure about this one. You may be surprised by how quickly friends and co-workers pick up on your secret. Giving up your java fix in favour of milk in the morning may be all that it takes to alert everyone around you to the fact that there's a baby on board.

5. Maternity wear is a total waste of money. You should wait until after you deliver to treat yourself to a new wardrobe.

Unless you're determined to make the nine months of pregnancy the most miserable nine months of your life, do yourself a favour and treat yourself to a few outfits that will make you feel like the pregnant goddess you have become. The money you spend on maternity wear is money well spent indeed.

6. By the time your due date rolls around, you'll be ready to have that baby.

Maybe, maybe not. I know more than a few women who, after watching the infamous birthing videos in prenatal class and discovering what is involved in getting a baby out, would have happily agreed to be pregnant forever.

7. Labour cramps are simply slightly more intense menstrual cramps.

Comparing menstrual cramps to labour cramps is like comparing a breeze to a hurricane. Or at least that's been my experience.

8. It's easy to tell the difference between true labour and false labour.

Pregnancy books are notorious for giving you laundry lists of symptoms that are supposed to help you to tell the difference between true and false labour. What they sometimes fail to tell you, however, is that false labour can do a pretty good imitation of the real enchilada-and vice versa. So don't feel like an idiot if you make a mad dash to the hospital at 3 a.m. only to find out that you aren't really in labour. It's better to check things out than to end up giving birth at the side of the highway!

9. Being pregnant doesn't have to change your life.

Well, maybe it doesn't have to, but it almost certainly will. And those changes start the moment the pregnancy test comes back positive. For the next nine months, you'll think about your baby-to-be hundreds of times each day: each time you turn down a cup of coffee, pop your prenatal vitamin, or make any of the many lifestyle decisions you typically make over the course of a day.

10. You should have your old body back by the time your six-week check-up rolls around.

Ha!, I say. The only way this is going to happen is if you started out with the body of a supermodel and you have your own personal trainer and live-in chef to help with post-partum damage control. While you may be able to fit some of the clothing you wore the day the pregnancy test came back positive, don't get your heart set on slipping into those skin-tight jeans just yet. All in good time.